Deflated. Smaller, diminished. I ignored the tubes -- breathing, IV -- to focus on him. His eyes were closed, his skin ashen. His face less determined...My mother sobbed quietly. Vanessa rocked her.Two and a half days later, Thursday, Dr. Millstein told me, “He’s got a chance, Winter. Better than fifty-fifty.”When I wasn’t at St. Luke’s I was in bed. Curled into a defensive ball. My mind was numb and I didn’t care. I sat up a couple of times and let Vanessa feed me spoonfuls of soup that I didn’t. His grin had widened and the man walked around the table and came to the side of the stall.Now her eyes widened as she saw that the salesman wasn’t wearing any pants and showing off his erect penis. Normally, any woman including Bina would be offended to see a stranger flashing his black dick and balls, but instead, she liked it.This one image took Bina back to her childhood. Back in those days, Bina along with her siblings used to buy small candies from the local ‘Candiwalla’ (as he used to be. Has she ever? Ever been with a boy?You relax and sit down on the grass. She’s curled up on your lap, you’re rocking her. She’s got her head under your chin, and her blonde hair is stuck to her face from crying. Her white tshirt is grubby, from playing outside and dropped food, and her pink leggings have holes in the knees. Her trainers which have princess’s on once had sparkle and glitter, every little g*s dream shoes, except hers are scuffed. She’s shuffling around on your lap, her tiny round. Next I saw the bathroom light go on as she obviously went to clean herself, then to my disappointment he closed the curtains. I expected she would head home now so I headed back to the car and moved it to a place where I could see our house, but she wouldn't easily see me. It was now getting late. I sat in the car for over an hour and still she hadn't come out of his house. I wondered whether they were fucking again. Some time after this I must have nodded off, I awoke at 1am to see lights.
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