My mind was groggy as I made some coffee and sat in my barekitchen. I didn't even have any food in the place. Oh well, I guess thatwas going to be on ...y agenda for today.The shower felt great as I stood there soaking up the water. Afterdrying off, cleaning up and dressing, I started putting my clothes awayand made sure everything was in their place. Being a lifelongcrossdresser, I had my "other" clothes I had to put away too. I probablyhad more "Steffi" clothes than my own real clothes. I. Hold me. I told her it was time to explore. I even gave her condoms for God's sake!" Mom. Come on. Giving her condoms isn't going to make someone rape her. It's not your fault. You didn't know anything was going to happen. Nobody could have known."The nurse at the admitting desk got Mom's attention and told her she needed to fill out some forms. She asked if Mary had ever been admitted to the hospital."I work here on the fifth floor." That doesn't matter. Has your daughter ever been treated. That memory still gave me an erection. But did I see her as eventually becoming my cónyuge? Bearing my children? No. Neither of us ever had. Still, she would always be very special to me.We had a party to plan. Roslyn Knightly would be arriving with a videographer on Friday. We were having a Valentine's Day party on Saturday, even though it was the 13th. We would include three live interviews at the party that would be sent directly to E! over our connection. This was the precursor to us going. As I fondle that anatomy with my fingers and caress it with my eyes, I am all too aware of its symbolism. I am also very keenly aware of its power, surging behind the symbolism, gathering behind the hair-thin dam and waiting to unleash its fury upon or within me. I smile at that thought, and my body cries with happiness, its tears trickling down my thighs. The blood – I can feel the blood flowing within, reinforcing his manhood, further strengthening that symbolism and continuing to heighten.
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