The next thing I knew, the alarm was going off at 6:00 AM. My two roommates had already left for work, and I just went right from the bedroom to the b...throom. I sat on the toilet and took a wicked dump, one really fat and extremely long turd, maybe 16 to 18 inches, when suddenly the phone rang in the kitchen and I got up to answer it. It was my boss, who said the weather was going to be bad, and not to come to work. I hung up and went back to the bathroom, and there SHE was....kneeling in front. Sometimes a spider would be lazy and wouldn’t bother to instantly remove a stray leaf from its web. If she lay absolutely still, the beast would think her to be merely a leaf. That was the theory at least. Lei had never before been so stupid as to fly into a web. Vibrations in the web was how a spider told prey from debris. The wind caught in her wings pushing her and the web with her backwards. Lei swallowed, pushing her fear down into her stomach freeing her throat for breathing. Her front. ‘What? What for?’ ‘Catch a snowflake on your tongue,’ Dahlia sang, spreading her arms and cocking back her head, ‘and Santa will grant your special wish.’ In less than a heartbeat a snowflake settled and melted on her outstretched tongue. ‘And how do you know that?’ ‘Because I just got mine!’ she winked. Dahlia smiled into Dave’s eyes. And then she planted another kiss on his lips. It was a long and lingering kiss that made both of them forget, for the moment, all about the cold. * * * ‘I’ve. It was about this time I discovered that I, and seemingly all women, had totally different expectations about their relationships with me. By then I needed marriage so I could settle down into a faithful monogamous relationship and stabilise my life, what had been up till then, a badly organised orgy. I'd spent all my younger years travelling the country by foot, road, rail and air, finding it very hard to settle, rarely remaining in one place more than two months. I had really been there and.
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