I prayed for help. I went to confession (for the last time). The new parish priest, no more than 30, asking me all sorts of questions about what I'd d...ne, where I'd touched him, where he'd touched me. But it was no use....talking about sex in the darkness and privacy of the confessional only arousing my desire still more. I now hungered for sex and the feeling of freedom and liberation it gave me. Now, just two months later, wherever I go the urge to have sex seems to dominate my thoughts. Even. My fingers were slippery and I was pinching it between two knuckles, hard. It felt amazing when my clit was squeezed hard, but it was especially good when it sort of burst through. I did it again and again. Then the door to our bedroom slowly opened.Although it was open only a few inches, I could tell it was my son outside. He knew what I would be doing. He wanted to see if I was really masturbating, and if his father was really asleep. He paused for what seemed like a long time, listening. I. Surely Nate hadn’t meant anything by it. That afternoon he had been caring…loving even. He had been the perfect gentleman. What if it had all been a lie? A ruse to get into my pants…I felt ashamed. I registered someone sitting down opposite me. I looked up – it was Riley, Nate and Michael’s friend. ‘You ok, Ronnie?’ he said, sounding genuinely concerned. Then again, Nate had seemed genuine too. I plastered on a fake smile, ‘Yeah I’m fine.’ He looked at me with concern. ‘You know you can talk to. "I'll keep that in mind." Deirdre snorted, then took another long drinkof her wine. Noting that the cup was empty, she held it out with anentreating look. "Refill, please? I think I'm going to need it here." You may at that, dear." Evaine laughed as she herself poured more wineinto the cup. "Just don't make a habit of it, if you please." Special occasion." Deirdre grumped, then took another long swallow."Aye, that it is, lady," Harald answered. "I'll be visiting you in yourchambers later this.
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