'Geoffrey stood, tapped his glass and said, 'as Jeremy's oldestfriend, I'd like to propose a toast as we celebrate his firstforty years on this planet... Happy birthday, Jeremy and may youhave many more.'We all stood and raised our glasses, repeating the toast andthen sat down and Jeremy thanked Geoffrey.Arno stood and said, 'I would like to thank Jeremy for this veryelegant dinner.' Diners murmured agreement and there was smallapplause as Arno continued, 'I would also like to thank Jeremyfor. ”I asked, “So you would do it with a stranger?”She replied, “I think I would if the guy was cute.”I said, “Well Liz the girl at the auto repair place invited us to wife swap this Friday with her and her husband. I said yes.”My wife asked, “Is Liz cute?”I replied, “I think so.”She asked, “What about her husband?”I replied, “I don’t know, I never saw him.”She took in a deep breath and said, “Okay! I’ll try it but if he is a dog and I want out of there, we go. Is that clear?”I said, “Absolutely.”I. ”Seeing my opportunity, I interrupted. “At home, Andrew. We’re having a business lunch and...”“Salling? Nah, he doesn’t care. He’s fine. Maybe he can even chime in. Okay, here’s the deal. My friend, Bob Bobberson, he saw his mother with a guy at a restaurant two weeks ago. He thought it was odd. They were really friendly, right? But she’s married to his father, so they were probably just friends. Then he saw her in the parking lot of the Days Inn off exit 47. Ugghh. The Days Inn? Sounds cheap. But I will be the judge of that! I could gag you but this room is soundproof and I want to hear you scream and scream you will.”After about ten minutes, whilst she checked the birches and the bench, I was brought out of the cell and ordered to stand in front of the bench.“Mount the bench boy! I want to see that fat arse of yours well presented for my birch.”Her words were not what I was expecting from such an attractive lady. I was beginning to feel scared but still excited. My wrists were.
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