I contemplated dressing in the clothes that I wore yesterday, but then I decided that I ought, at least, to look presentable.I laughed mirthlessly, sn...ering at the vanity of it, but still I washed and shaved, brushed my teeth, taking solace in the familiar routine, trying to fool my subconscious that yes, indeed things were normal, that this wasn't my last day on earth.I dressed carefully in clean clothes and then I sat and thought about the arrangements that I had made. I tried to take comfort. I’d just been to see my girlfriend of the time, her name was Julie and she was the first and only person I’d had full on sex with. I was developing a healthy appetite for it and like most guys of my age, I thought of little else I knew however, that I was a little different from the people I'd grown up with, my masturbation fantasies had started to change. I thought about men as well as women when I did it. At first I felt ashamed of those fantasies, I had terrible guilt trips about the fact. I immediately felt both guilty and snarky. “What I mean is I’m glad you feel good about it,” I said.“It will be some time before I fully understand how I feel about it, but I do know I want to thank you.” She rolled to get on one elbow. “Thank you for being you. Thank you for meeting my daughter and being patient with her after I screwed her up. Thank you for not being a dick about what just happened.”“You’re welcome.”Her eyes went to my stumps.“And thank you for your service.”“Any time,” I. The next morning, I woke up at around 9 and came downstairs to drink some water. Shortly after, Julia returned home from a run. She started teasing me for being a sleepyhead before she even walked in the room. I was just drinking my water. In she comes. Wearing her sportswear. A sports bra and black gym leggings. She asked if I could also pour her some water, because it’s insanely hot outside. She was drenched in sweat. I poured her some water into a glass and left it on the counter and she.
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