. Well?" The woman was standing on his side of the table, a couple of feet away from him as though she didn't know whether it was safe to come any clo...er."Stellar." He played the last of the conversation back through his head, "You just accused me of helping to kill your sister. How should I feel? But I didn't sabotage Carolina's ship, nor did I let anyone else do it." He held her gaze as he said it, but once she'd determined that he was fine, there was no other indication of her real. "I did not know she had a house cleaner, I am sorry for assuming something different."Shay calmingly smiled back. "No need to say sorry, I know she did not keep in contact with you much."Happy with her answer, Josh gave a easy smile to Shay. "Thank you for making diner, and cleaning up from before. I guess I am still use to living in the North."When he smiled at her and put his hand on hers. Shay did nothing but beam a smile back at him. "I wanted to tell you more at school, but there is too. All I could think about was Andrew. I went to the bathroom and soaked for ages. When I heard the door slam downstairs my heart filled with butterflies. How the fuck could I face him? How the fuck could Andrew face me? I told myself to get a grip. I know I’m only 18, but I was confident about my body, and I knew how to act cool. But now all that escaped me, it was like I was a silly love struck virgin all over again! ‘Gina, are you at home?’ Shit! He sounded so cool, how the fuck could he be. When we make love I'm trulyhappy that we shared our love and when we finish I feel so dirty, sodeprecated."I'm so tired of the doctors, the shrinks and their placating words ofsympathy along with their puzzlement. Mom and dad have bills coming outof their butts because of me. I hear the whispers of former schoolmatescalling me those hateful, despicable words of sissy, faggot or shemale,when I see them. Kyle has been around for me just as you all have..." Ilost it all then but as I cried Gwen.
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